C'mon, whaddya say, Crabita?
Stop it, Echizen Pete!
Argh! You're letting Crabbonio get inside your shell, aintcha?
What's inside my shell belongs to me!
Even if it is stuffed full of gunk.
Crabita? Crabitaaa!
Crabita, that gunk is basically like poop, right?
You're so tactless, Echizen Pete!
We're leaving, Kanade.
Atsushi!
See? I bought you a crab.
Yay! Crabita! Come home with me!
Good for you, Kanade! Crabbity!
First Love Monster
A Proper Rom-Com For Once
Atsushi, thanks for Crabita!
Sheesh. Echizen crabs are pricey. I'll be billing your dad later.
Are you mad, Takeshi? Is it 'cause I made you buy Crabita?
No, I'm not mad.
Just thinking... that maybe I shouldn't have come.
But I couldn't have gone to Kaho's house without you.
Why would you say that?
I wonder. I don't know, either.
You're a grown-up, and you don't even understand yourself?
Yep.
Kaho, something's weird with Atsushi!
Huh? Oh, uh, really?
Kanade, your time is your life.
Giving stupid women your time is a waste of your life.
Oho! Treasure your life!
Exactly right!
That's his standard specs, all right.
Kanade?
Well, why not?
He did come all the way to Kanazawa,
and so much happened there.
Boy, did it ever...
Let's get married!
M-Married?
I'll marry you!
No?
N-No, it's not that—
Unfortunately, Kanade,
men have to be 18 and women 16 before they can marry.
Huh?! What's that about?
It's the law.
Ah. Then I guess that's that.
That was surprisingly fast!
Life is long.
No one picks a husband or wife in fifth grade.
You ought to be able to find someone better.
Someone better? Hmm...
Wait, what?
Is Kanade starting to have second thoughts?!
I don't know what a better woman would be like...
...but I'll take Kaho.
Kaho, if we can't get married, let's promise to get married.
Kanade...
Are you actually taking this seriously, Breadcrumb Girl?
Someday, when you end up an old spinster hag,
will you hunt him down, all "But you promised"?
I'm not really serious about this!
Why not?! You should be! I am!
But...
Then... let's pinky-swear, Kaho.
We hereby pinky-swear... that me and Kaho will get married.
If you lie, you'll swallow a thousand needles
and cut your pinky off!
It's a deal!
Uh-huh!
boo-hoo
Kaho... a primary-schooler... in shorts...
B-Brother?
Primary-schooler Kanade
Shock is the usual reaction when your sister is dating a rimary-schooler
Kaho, Kaho...
Kaho...!
and promises to marry him.
Kaho...! Kaho!
If it were me, I'd want to die. In fact, I would die.
Let's go home, Kaho.
Yeah!
See ya, Kaho's brother! Next time I'll teach you hide-and-seek!
K-Kanade, c'mon...
Let's go, already!
Kanade...
I-Is he going to wake up anytime soon? If not...
My stomach can't take the strain of being alone with Taga!
Oh, right.
Your brother backed off awfully quickly.
Eh? I... don't think he... backed off, quite...
I see.
Could he have been worried about me?
No, not Taga, of all people.
But...
Psssssh
Psssssh...
Hey, Kanade—we're here.
Thanks for the ride, Atsushi.
Um, Taga?
Well, uh... thanks for everything.
So even a breadcrumb can say "thank you."
Taga... something is weird with him.
Kanade!
Bro! I'm home like Thunderdome!
I thought you went back to Osaka!
I may be the Naniwa Speed Coaster an' all,
but ridin' a flat bike all the way to Osaka?
Yeah, it ain't happenin'.
Oh, all right! Gotcha, pal!
Gotcha pal, potcha gal, gotcha pal, potcha gal...
Gotcha potcha pal!
Ah, back to Kasumi House!
Not to pee on your picnic, but carry this crab yourself, Kanade.
Eek!
C-Crabita!
Crabita! It's just a scratch!
Crabita!
Have we witnessed crab murder at the hand of a garbage girl?
Stay with me, Crabita!
Crabita! Don't die!
Taga's just Taga after, all.
Is that dinner? Wow, decadent!
No! Crabita's my friend!
I'm sorry, Kanade.
Kaho...
I didn't mean for such a terrible thing to happen to Crabita.
You, too, Crabita—I'm sorry.
It's... okay... peace...!
Crabita! Thank goodness!
Yeah, thank goodness!
Yow! Hot hot hot!
I'm gettin' scorched over here.
Yeah, our love's been tested, and now its flames burn at 10 billion degrees!
Yeah, but... y'all might be separated soon enough.
What do you mean, Bro?
Truth is, Kanade...
...your pops is puttin' on a weddin' right this very moment!
And from what I heard...
I'm his mother, even if we're not related by blood.
I'll be choosing Kanade's bride.
N-No...
I can't let that happen!
Kanade... No, of course.
We have just made up— to be torn apart now—
You're married to Mom— I can't let you do this, Dad!
Oh, so that's what he's mad about.
Congratulations
Yodel-odel-odel-odel yodel-ay-hee-hi-ho!
Ahem!
D-Do you pledge to love him with all your heart,
in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?
I do.
If there be anyone present with any objections to—
I object!
How could you betray Mom, Dad?!
Kanade!
I'm sorry, Kanade.
Your dad went and fell in love with this woman here.
You can call me "Mama," Kanade.
I only have one mom, now and forever!
And a sumo wrestler like you...
I'm never gonna call you "Mom"!
Sumo wrestler? So that's Mafuyu in there?
What did you just say, Nikaidou Kaho?
Someone's about to dance with hard luck, all right!
Dance with Hard Luck
A bride who won't obey her mother-in-law? I'll separate you myself.
'Kay?
This here is what they call a "stepmom."
A step toward being a mom? Is she transforming?
A trans woman? Tell me more.
Dad, why would you... and Mafuyu...!
Say something, Dad!
He wanted me not only to teach you as your tutor,
but to protect the house, too.
As your mom, I'll make sure you're safe from the evil hands
of indecent high-school girls!
Indecent?! No! I'm no such thing!
"Indecent high-school girl," eh?
If this garbage girl came out under that title,
would that be false advertising, Kouta?
Wh-Wh-Wh-Why are you asking me?
You have got tons of dirty DVDs in your room, right?
I don't, I don't, I don't!
You're the worst!
Kanade?
Even if we're apart, our hearts are always together—
mine and yours and Mom's!
Why, you... you put the "big" in "bigamy"!
BIGamy
Kanade... take a closer look at your father.
Huh?!
Dad! Your eyes!
Don't tell me an evil organization gave you augmentation surgery!
Mafuyu, put Dad back the way he was!
Eek! Shuugo, Kanade is scaring me!
It's all right—I'll protect you.
Hooray!
Grrr... Lend me your strength, Crabita!
All right: a blinding attack!
Eek! I'm frightened!
Huh?
Gah! My eyes! My eyes!
Arashi?! Dang it! Crabita: now for a slash attack!
Eek! Stop it!
Huh?
Kouta's down to his boxers!
'Kay, now turn to the front!
Hey! Quit looking!
Yes, a nice smooth butt.
It's all right, Kouta (my eyes!)—
I always carry a Renren costume (my eyes!)
What kind of tragic event is this?
with me just in case (my eyes!)!
I see you haven't changed, Kanade.
Time to give it up and be my son!
Rats... If only Crabita could pull off a megaton evolution...!
Come, Shuugo. Back to our wedding—
Crabitaaa!
You used Arashi as a shield. I'm okay with that.
Chiaki?
But what you're doing is wrong.
Mr. Takahashi! Are you all right?
Huh? What on earth am I...
Well, what with one thing and another...
Really, what happened?
Ignoring your partner's wishes like this won't bring anything but unhappiness.
That's not true!
He will have feelings for me someday!
Sympathy, maybe—but not love.
It doesn't matter!
If we're together, Shuugo will come to love me soon enough!
No, I won't.
I'm sorry.
I'm not too clear on the situation here, but I won't love anyone but my wife.
Dad, is that true?
Yeah.
Even though she's passed away and I can't see her anymore...
...your mom is the only one I love.
I... I'm glad you two had me!
Takahashi Family Nuptials
What a nice story.
It's a sad story.
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder...
...but when you absolutely can't be together anymore...
...where does all that overgrown love end up?
Those two will never see their loved one again.
Chiaki... don't die...
I won't.
Your mom and dad are still connected.
Kanade?
And we'll be connected, too, Kaho.
Uh-huh!
Too many couples! The air in here...!
Uh, Shinohara's broken.
I can't take it!
Just a virgin fit. Don't worry about it.
I was well aware: Love has its obstacles.
Shuugo, you're testing my sincerity, aren't you?
You are beyond clueless.
What the hell did ya just do?
Ya took off half my makeup!
Whoa! Her face came off! She's an imposter!
H-H-Her boobs! Do her boobs come off, too?!
These babies're real!
Ya damn snot-nose brats!
Kaho! Are you okay?
Uh-huh. I'm fine, Kanade.
You have got cake on your face!
He just suddenly licks me? That... doesn't happen.
The air! It's turning all pink in here!
Whoa! Way to put yer back into yer punches there!
That's what I call a wall-pound!
Kaho, you can have the first bath.
Hit it! Hit that wall, Kouta!
Um...
Well, if you say so...
The Bath is Occupied
Hmm? Can we eat this crab, too?
No! Crabita is my friend!
Huh! Wait, she's barely responding.
What's wrong, Crabita?
Hey, answer me!
Smile for me again, Crabita!
Won't she recover if you put her in water?
Only if ya got a tank or somethin' big enough for this colossal crab.
I do.
I'll go put Crabita in the tub.
Oh, Kaho.
You thought it was Kaho? Too bad: it's me!
And all of Kaho's bathwater is mine!
Kanade, did ya get Crabita in the tub okay?
Whoa, what's with the old dude? Creepy!
Dunno. Some old guy I don't know was already in there.
I am not an old guy you don't know! You know this old guy!
Wait—I'm not old!
Have you forgotten so soon? Nikaidou Daiko—
There we go, Crabita. Rest easy, now.
Huh? What? What are you planning to snip with those claws?!
I wonder why my brother was in the bath?
And passed out naked, to boot.
Did he come to take me back?
It'll be fine. Kanade came to get me.
From now on, I can stay here at Kasumi House with Kanade.
Hey, Kaho—did something good happen?
Uh-huh. I'm happy that I can be with you.
Oh? Me, too.
So the feeling's mutual... right?
I'm making a raft out of milk cartons.
What's... going on?
I came to ask you to help tomorrow.
When did he come into my room?
...so it's gonna have to be an underwater walk.
Then it came to me!
Looking the way I do...
I could make a slightly bigger version
of the milk-carton rafts we made in school.
If I put a propeller under the raft and twist a rubber band around it,
Even though I'm in my underwear...
it'll be like a real prop boat and put out some actual speed!
Sweet-Sweet
Kanade's acting too normal.
Sweet-Sweet
So there you go.
Good night, sleep tight!
What is this... this feeling?
He left the door open.
He saw me—Taga saw me!
Kanade saw me like this and didn't react.
Now Taga's gotten an eyeful, too...
I hate this!
Nikaidou Daikoku, age 29, Taurus, blood type A.
I've watched Kaho intently from morning till night,
How did this person suddenly wind up living in my closet?
and I fully intend to continue.
Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo
Brother?
Oh, Kaho! Good mor-Nintendo!
G-Good morning, Kanade.
Hey, has anyone seen Crabita?
She's not in the tub...
Kanade! Look: seaweed!
Hooray, seaweed, yay! Right?
Yay, seaweed! Hooray!
Slurp!
Eh?
Crab... ita?
Mafuyu, you meanie! Your bellybutton sticks out!
Crabita's not food!
She was a friend! But you...
Keeping a pet crab in the bathtub?
Truly, children's ignorance is frightening.
Oh! That's right!
Crabita went back to Kanazawa!
She sends her regards!
Yeah, yeah! She's about to have her babies!
That's enough, you two.
Humans survive by receiving all kinds of lives.
Better to connect your lives by eating them than to just let them die.
Kanade... let this be a learning experience for you.
Shut up! If learning makes me okay with what happened to Crabita,
I'd rather stay stupid!
You grown-ups... you grown-ups...
I hate you!
Kanade!
A man who would cry over a crab being eaten isn't worth going after.
After all, he's such a child that he saw me naked in the tub
and thought I was you.
Huh?
An easy mistake to make, with that body. Am I right?
T-T-Taga?!. Y-Y-You sound like you have seen it!
P-Perhaps you suffer from low blood pressure, Taga?
Mornings must be rough!
Oh, I saw it, all right.
I saw it just fine.
But with so little there, I could hardly tell if she was a woman.
Kanade saw, too, didn't he?
But he didn't react.
And your mind was full of wishy-washy nonsense again, wasn't it,
you stupid girl.
I bet Kanade doesn't even think of you as a woman.
Out of the way, Crabbonio. Crabita is my girl!
Ha! Save the jokes for after we molt. Crabita's mine!
Hey, don't forget about ol' Snowcrab Smith!
I came like a thousand miles from the southwest to see my honey Crabita!
But you're a snow crab!
Well, I just want to mate.
Gross, Carl!
A minor detail. But more importantly... I'm related to the hermit crab.
Crabita! Who's your one true love?
That'd be me, o' course!
Won't you accept this man's pure heart?
Look, you keep calling me "Crabita," but I'm a male.
Huh?!
"Echizen crab" is a brand name for male snow crabs
caught in the Echizen region.
Blurp!
Sheesh... Hey, was that my only part? A crab?!
Renren here!
Coming up on First Love Monster...
Oh! Don't look there! Not cool!
All on the next First Love Monster:
Next Time "No Peeking! Kanade's Secret Diary"
"No Peeking! Kanade's Secret Diary"!
And now for a match!
Renren, chon!